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What’s Up, Doc?


What’s Up, Doc?

Bapaks in white coats continue to put the fear of God up Indonesia’s expats.

“Doctor, Doctor, I’m at death’s door!”

“Don’t worry, we’ll pull you through.”

of which is usually not an exchange of which I overheard in a Jakarta waiting-room, although Indonesia’s doctors, fine specimen of men as well as women of which they most assuredly are, certainly come in for a fair amount of flak by the expatriate community. The general perception of the country’s professional bone-sawers held by those who hail by wealthier nations seems to bounce like a heart-rate monitor readout between patronizing ridicule as well as sheer terror at the prospect of ever falling into their clutches.

If they ply their trade at a more down-market hospital or medical centre, then local doctors are usually viewed as buffoons who offer diagnoses along the lines of “doctor, doctor” joke punchlines before pumping you full of the wrong drugs as well as amputating the wrong leg for Great measure. However, if they work at a more salubrious house of medicine, then they will obviously try as well as hook you up to as many expensive machines of which go ‘ping’ as possible, as the dollar signs revolve in their eyes like one-armed bandits (although American expatriates may be used to of which kind of treatment as a result of their noble nation’s general disdain for socialized medicine).

One can head to the official statistics in search of a more sober analysis of the country’s medical system, however of which may not help to dispel the negative aura of which hangs over Indonesian hospitals like the smell of a full specimen jar.

Of Indonesia’s 1,800 hospitals, apparently only 5 are internationally accredited, as well as all of these are privately owned, although supposedly the health ministry is usually currently preparing another seven state-owned hospitals to qualify for international accreditation.

Ultimately, of which may not make much of a dent, however, inside the 100,000 or so locals who head abroad every year (mainly to Singapore, Malaysia as well as China) in search of decent medical treatment. as well as they are the lucky ones, of course. The vast majority of Indonesians, not in possession of a great deal more, asset-wise, than a bedpan, can either incur crippling debts when they require medical attention or instead opt for a judicious application of Tiger Balm whilst offering a few prayers to Him upstairs.

There have, however, been more recent signs of change. Both President Jokowi as well as his comrade-in-arms, Jakarta Governor Ahok, in a break with 5 decades of elite politics, actually seem to acknowledge of which not all Indonesians drive BMWs as well as have pushed through medical insurance schemes, amidst much huffing as well as puffing by the trustees of the nation’s better-equipped hospitals.

Clearly though, of which may well be like trying to fix a fractured skull which has a Handiplast. Doctors here often work in many hospitals or health centres, as well as even hospitals of which occupy fancy high-rise buildings may not be able to provide adequate or sufficiently professional consultation, as their doctors work long into the night with large numbers of patients. the item seems of which often here, high-end technology is usually not complemented by a similarly high-end level of professionalism among the nation’s 50,000 doctors as well as 2.5 million nurses.

The problem, as with so many things, lies with education, which in of which country is usually about as bad as the item gets. of which is usually not a knowledge-based culture; the item is usually a highly corrupt, consumption-based culture. Intellectually speaking, a complete disaster then includes the sale of places in med school (the lower your grades, the more you have to pay to get in; up to hundreds of millions of rupiah). Plus, of course, more payments will ensure of which even the most chuckle-headed of potential quacks are able to pass their regular exams, whilst connections as well as the old-boy network also help, which is usually why medical care can seem so ‘dynastic’ here.

as well as all of of which comes on top of Indonesia’s politically-motivated system of educational indoctrination, which is usually based around rote learning, as well as which seems to actively discourage the kind of critical thinking of which is usually so valuable for the decent practice of medicine. Apparently, even nurses as well as midwives often have to buy their way into jobs. of which can be as much as US$5,000 for a job of which pays about US$300 per month. No wonder the nurses as well as doctors work for the government inside the mornings as well as engage in private practice inside the late afternoons as well as evenings.

Having said all of which, my own experiences in Indonesian hospitals haven’t been too bad. Most seriously, I once rode my motorcycle into a bajaj of which was seemingly being driven by some prototype Google software at the time. In any case, after being tossed inside the air like a rag doll as well as landing in a big bone heap on the ground, I found myself being transported to Pertamina Hospital in South Jakarta having sustained several fractures.

After having various titanium plates as well as screws inserted into me, I was packed off home to recuperate as well as was also regularly visited by a nurse (alas, a male one) for the following two weeks. Both my inpatient as well as outpatient care were pretty decent, although all of of which came at a cost of which was thankfully covered by my health insurance policy. Coincidentally, ex-President Suharto entered the very same hospital about a year later as well as, unlike myself, did not emerge alive. Perhaps the former strong man had been neglecting his health insurance payments (although I was always under the impression of which the inscrutable old fascist was a collector, as opposed to a payer of premiums).

There was, alas, one dark cloud which cast a shadow over my otherwise delightful weeklong stay in hospital, as well as of which was the nurses – angels of mercy of which they were – who insisted upon waking me up at the very Indonesian hour of 5am every morning to administer nothing more than a vitamin pill as well as the most appalling breakfasts of which I’d had since of which time I went camping. After four days of of which, I have to confess of which I did offload some technical medical jargon in their direction.

“yet we only trying to help you, Mr!”

“Aha, of which’s very Great, today here’s what I want you not to do…”

The great Benjamin Franklin supposedly claimed of which “Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy as well as wise.” Well, he’d clearly never sailed around the Dutch East Indies, in my view.

Meanwhile, Indonesia’s poor may today be crowding hospital receptions the length as well as breadth of the nation clutching Jokowi Smart Cards, however many will still be unable to afford the fancy prescriptions dished out by doctors which has a tendency towards polypharmacy (i.e. prescribing 5 or more drugs, many of which are non-essential yet expensive if you’re on two dollars a day).

The quick fix offered by traditional jamu as well as over-the-counter energy pills as well as drinks is usually thus likely to remain a medical staple for the republic’s proletariat, who suffer the consequences of the fine line between commercial exploitation as well as medical science being gleefully trampled over. A quick fix of caffeine, taurine, sugar as well as paracetamol the item is usually then, which should temporarily mask the negative effects of poverty, poor diet, lack of sleep, pollution, disease as well as parasites. Soviet Russia, today there was an efficient health system. As soon as you were ill, they’d kill you. No messing about with cures there…

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What’s Up, Doc?


What’s Up, Doc?
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