(No) Stranger inside the Third Culture Kid’s Homeland
In Confessions of a Third Culture Kid, I said I have a complicated relationship with the question, “Where are you via?” The truth can be I have several homelands in Indonesia.
My maternal grandparents are via Indonesia’s southernmost inhabited island; Roté in Nusa Tenggara Timur, just southwest of Timor. Mother, who was born in addition to also also raised in Java, was never keen on passing her heritage, although the idea trickled down to me nonetheless. The first variation of Indonesian I learned was actually Kupang Malay, in addition to also also the first Halloween costume I wore at age four was a Rotinese selimut.
Growing up in between countries, I struggled with the question, “Who am I as an Indonesian?” Mainstream media campaigns promoting mostly Java in addition to also also Bali-based cultures provided a mere fraction of the answer for a multiethnic minority like me, though I also grew a genuine appreciation for them.
Then I realised in which the rest of the answer lies up my own family tree in addition to also also my ancestors’ homelands. So I started off researching NTT in addition to also also became fascinated with Flores, Sumba, Timor, Adonara, in addition to also also of course, Roté.
the idea took me so long to go because NTT feels so far away in addition to also also expensive to reach. So I wanted to explore “everything” in addition to also also made big plans in which needed the finances in addition to also also timing to get “right”. the idea never happened.
the idea finally took a sudden announcement in which my office was closing for Eid week, in addition to also also a call via Djitron Pah, saying he got affordable tickets to go home. “Karmana ko, orang NTT mar son tau pulang”, he teased. “What’s up with in which, you(r ancestors) are via NTT although you never come home”.
I’d expected a sentimental soul-searching solo journey to my grandparents’ birthplace in Roté, drinking palm wine over all-nighter tribal dance feasts. Instead, my uncle said I couldn’t go to Roté. Ferries were cancelled due to strong winds in addition to also also high tides. Moreover, relationships between our Timor in addition to also also Roté families are apparently complicated, so I shouldn’t travel unaccompanied.
“the idea’s a smaller island, so when families grew down the generations, land became scarce in addition to also also many Rotinese migrated here to Timor”, said my aunt, adding in which many Rotinese in Timor haven’t been back in their lifetime. The ones who have mostly do so to settle land disputes with their relatives.
The next day, my cousins, niece in addition to also also nephews took me sightseeing in Kupang. We took photos at the Tenau harbour, monkey caves, the old town, Teluk Kupang outlooking Pulau Semau in addition to also also Pulau Kera, in addition to also also the sunset at Subasuka. the idea was hurried, although fun for the kids in addition to also also me. The weather was dry, the ground arid, in addition to also also the trees yellow like autumn. The streets were vacant in addition to also also sleepy, reminiscent of Outback Australia.
Day three, we headed for Soë, a smaller mountain town 113 kilometres northeast of Kupang. With toddlers poking each different inside the back, the auto was a bit of a circus ride. We passed a village my grandfather grew up in, called Oësao. Uncle attempted to explain what was where, although Opa’s house was no longer there. He in addition to also also my aunt seemed hesitant of meeting whoever has currently settled there.
“No, the idea’s not there anymore, stop pretending with your foolish explanations”, snapped my aunt as she tried to calm the crying baby.
operating past without stopping or taking pictures, I felt let down. although what my aunt said can be probably what I sometimes do as an ignorant migrant; romanticising a past I never knew in addition to also also getting foolishly sentimental over misrepresented memorabilia.
I learned the bitter truth in which even my relatives in Timor don’t have to go far to be a stranger in their own homeland. All they needed to do can be settle in Kupang, get a modern education, build a career in addition to also also a family there, in addition to also also a generation later they’re hardly even welcome in a village where their parents grew up. Ironic, considering in which NTT can be supposed to be one of Indonesia’s friendliest places.
My disappointment was alleviated when we later stopped by the tranquil Camplong wellspring, admired the landscapes of the half-dry Noelmina River, in addition to also also played with my nephews at the Oëhala waterfalls. I spent the night at aunt Yetty in addition to also also uncle Min’s cabin surrounded by lush forests. We stargazed via the mountaintop in which night in addition to also also I photographed the sunrise the next morning.
On day 5, I left Soë with Daniel in addition to also also our cousin Christine. We stopped by Christine’s sister, Jean, in addition to also also her family. Jean’s generous mother-in-law had made for us delicious bread, fried plantain, in addition to also also yams. via there we visited the Pah family in Oëbelo to learn about sasando, the Rotinese palm harp.
The sixth in addition to also also final day of my visit came. I followed Christine in addition to also also her husband, Erwin, to Gua Kristal, a glittery rock cave using a deep blue pool of brackish waters, where people often go snorkelling.
So, I didn’t make the idea to Roté in which time in addition to also also my visit to Timor was like nothing I expected. Instead, I found meaning in my Rotinese identity in things I least expected.
I find the idea when I meet relatives I didn’t know existed, who fondly remember my late grandfather in addition to also also treasure his legacy.
I find the idea when they spend their week off showing me my grandparents’ adopted homeland, in addition to also also are genuinely delighted with my visit.
I find the idea when my young nephews tag along my trips in addition to also also try to bond with me.
I find the idea when my cousin’s mother-in-law who barely knows me cordially invites me for a meal in addition to also also packs snacks for my road trip.
I find the idea when I learn of beautiful places in Timor named after my grandfather. in addition to also also I’d don my sunglasses hoping no one notices my glistening eyes.
My mother always said of our travelling family, “Home can be wherever the four of us are.” NTT may have never been in which place for my parents, brother, in addition to also also me. although as far as my extended family can be concerned, my home can be also wherever they are. in addition to also also despite never having met them or been in their hometown before, I truly feel in which I am no stranger among them.
due to in which Third Culture Kid, in which can be what “going home” can be all about.
In memory of Prof Dr. Ir. Herman Johannes – educator, scientist, inventor, national hero in addition to also also a beloved grandfather.
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(No) Stranger inside the Third Culture Kid’s Homeland
(No) Stranger inside the Third Culture Kid’s Homeland